Happy Hausfrau: Dirty Little Secret

The Happy Hausfrau had a dirty little secret.

Nobody would have guessed.  Nobody would have thought.  She had worked with the kind of diligence only fear could breed to keep her secret just that.  Secret.

Even so, she lived in constant fear that someday somebody would discover her dirty little secret and expose what she’d kept hidden in plain sight.   That somebody might reveal the skeleton living in her microwave.

Her hands shook as she lit a cigarette from the emergency pack she kept in the freezer.  Her I’ll-Take-Mine-Rare red nails matched the door that hid the evidence – whispers of scandalous midnight rendezvous with leftovers better left untouched, dark tales of defrosted meat gone wrong, rumors of popcorn badly burnt…

Tap.  Tap-tap.  Tappity-tap.  The gentle sound of her computer keys as she Googled and Pinterested were reassuring, like the words of an understanding confidant.  With any luck she’d find what she needed to get the deed done before the kids got home from school.  The thought of it – of living out from under the thumb of that silent, threatening burden – sparked a tiny, smoke-filled, half-hysterical giggle.

Suddenly her hands froze.  She pulled the cigarette from her lips and leaned closer to the screen.  What was this?  She read slowly, carefully, flicking the ashes from her smoke into her empty bourbon glass.

Oh, yes.  This would do.  This would do nicely.  Now no-one would ever have to know what happened behind that blood-red door.

Ever.

This is the 'after'. The 'before' is too damn scary to show. Click this picture to check out Crafty Little Gnome's blog on how to clean your microwave - you won't be sorry! (Hint: It involves vinegar & water and is SUPER SIMPLE!)

P.S.  There’s still time to send me your pic for the I AM BEAUTIFUL…Just the Way I Am follow-up post.  Send your photos to myndishafer at rocketmail dot com by Feb. 24, and I’ll make sure to include them in the follow-up post that will run on the 29th!  Make your declaration of REAL BEAUTY to the world!  *hugs*, Myn

Advertisements