MYNDI’S BEST OF: Getting Old Sucks

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Blinding pain. It’s a real thing. “Blinding pain occurs when neuro-connectors in your brain are overloaded with information from the site of your pain – the ground zeroif you will – causing ocular function to temporarily disable.” – Dr. Imnot Rheal

Okay, so that quote’s a fake (I had you going, didn’t I?). But holy crap on a craker, blinding pain?

Yeah.

Real.

See Myndi getting ready to go the zoo (why do bad things always happen on my way to the zoo?). See Myndi making healthy, nutritious lunches for her and her daughters. See Myndi reach for the carrots in the bottom drawer in the fridge.

ENTER BLINDING PAIN HERE.

See Myndi lurch forward, bang head on upper shelf of fridge, and topple to the floor. Hear Myndi say things that would have made her mother’s Sailoresque vocabulary seem modest. See Myndi lying on the floor wishing for one of those “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” necklace-buttons that the retirement-home set are so wild about.

I’m writing this post lying flat on my back on the floor (it’s an awkward scene, I promise), trying to ease the pain with acetaminophen and ibuprofen (INTERESTING UPDATE: and this cute little thing called a TENS unit that, if turned up too high will zap the shiza out of my back – HOLY FREAKING OUCH) and of course, TLC from the Hubster. Hopefully, in the two weeks between writing it and posting it, my back will have chilled the hell out.

*DISAPPOINTING UPDATE. MY BACK HAS NOT CHILLED THE HELL OUT. TURNS OUT TORN LIGAMENTS IN YOUR SPINE LIKE TO TAKE THEIR SWEET BIPPY TIME HEALING. EFFING BLARRRRRRG.*

If not, well…

…I’m going to give up carrots. And start writing instruction manuals on how to age in the most ungraceful manner possible.

…and possibly a memoir with a chapter wholly devoted to the Terrible Awful No-Good Idea that is Going To The Zoo.

Now tell me your Best Of! I want to hear about your little pops of surprise as you age. ‘Cause, you know, misery loves company, and all that crap.

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36 thoughts on “MYNDI’S BEST OF: Getting Old Sucks

  1. emmaburcart says:

    I’m so sorry that happened! I had a sore back a week ago, not hurt just sore from working out, but still it was pretty shocking how much we use our backs for! It made me realize that working out is even more important than I thought. It is the way to keep our bodies working no matter our age. I hope you feel better soon. And, it is perfectly fine to blame the carrots. 🙂

  2. Liz says:

    After I ride a bike, my right hip gives out for about half an hour. We’re talking full-on limping and pain. No clue why, but I think it has to do with those hellions I gave birth to.

  3. Amber West says:

    Torn ligaments!? Youch.

    I’ve popped a rib out of place more than once. I did not know one could do this. You know what you can’t do when your rib decides to move to a location it’s never been?

    Laugh. Sneeze. Move. BREATHE.

    It was awful. And apparently, once you weaken those muscles, it can happen again.

    I live in fear every time I turn awkwardly in the car to make sure little man is buckled into his car sear.

  4. Karen Rought says:

    Dang, that’s terrible, Myndi. 😦 I hope you feel better soon!

    In the last year or so, I’ve gotten achy legs like you would not believe. It’s not blinding pain that lays you flat on your back, but it’s like having a constant toothache in your legs. Not particularly painful, but dull aches that just don’t. go. away. My mom has fibromyalgia, and I’m afraid those genes might be kicking in for me. The only problem is…I’m only 24. I’m too young to feel this old. 😦

  5. Carrie Rubin says:

    So sorry to hear about your back. Back injuries can be intolerable–very difficult to find a comfortable position. I clicked the ‘like’ button only because I want you to recover quickly, not because I ‘like’ you being injured. 😦

  6. Karen McFarland says:

    Ouch! Back problems can be so painful. I am living with someone who is still recouperating from back stuff. And what is this about you getting old? I don’t think so. You’re still a youngster Myndi. Wait, just wait. That’s all I’m going to say on that subject. I hope you’re on the mend soon! 🙂

  7. Coleen Patrick says:

    My sisters and mom always have problems with their back. No joke, for sure. So sorry, Myndi. Hope you are on your way to being recovered. I imagine, you should receive your first old person milestone chip in the mail. LOL I think my first old chip was for my crunchy knee. 🙂 Sending healing thoughts!

  8. jansenschmidt says:

    For me it’s the hair. Not only is it turning gray – really gray – it’s thinning out too. Why is that? Not only am I losing my color, I’m losing abundance as well. I can see no reason why my hair must thin. Hair keeps my head warm. I need more of it as I age, not less. Who makes these rules?

    At least you have a reason for your back pain – torn ligaments (ouch). I get pains in my limbs for no apparent reason. I have not injured myself or overworked certain areas, and yet some mornings I wake up and my ankle will hurt. Or my elbow. One time it was my jaw. No reason. Just weird pains. Some nights my shoulders ache. Today, I’m pretty good. Tomorrow – who knows.

    But, I am still refusing to grow up.

    Hang in there. I hope you’re feeling better soon.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

  9. Piper Bayard says:

    With arthritis in my lower spine and hip, I am definitely at the move-it-or-lose-it phase of life. So I go to power training three times a week with women and men decades older than I am who could give 20-yr-old Marines a run for their money. I’m easy to spot. I’m the one who walks while everyone else is running. Health and pride have become incompatible.

    • Myndi Shafer...one stray sock away from insanity. says:

      Oh, ouchie, Piper! Arthritis is not a fun thing to deal with. But, LOL – when we lived in Kona, I was always amazed by the retirees there that were repeat competitors in the Iron Man. I want to pass out at the thought of running a 5K. *snort* After this bout, though, my mindset has changed. I’ve never not been able to do what I want to do before. I don’t like it. At all!

      • Piper Bayard says:

        Best of luck to you for a swift recovery. Frankly, at this point in my life, if you cut off your left foot I would still recommend a thyroid check, a gluten-free diet, and a physical regimen just to get out of bed in the morning. Whoever called it the “Golden Years” was out to sell old people on some ridiculous notion that aging doesn’t suck. It totally does.

  10. Kassandra Lamb says:

    (Shhh, Pru, don’t tell them about the hair on the chinny-chin-chin. You’ll just depress them. 🙂 )

    Ack, aches and pains! I just spent a week painting our summer cottage in Maryland. I am way too freakin’ old for that kind of hard labor. I have never hurt so much in my life. Even my hair ached by the end of each day.

    The good news is I got into my semi-skinny jeans today, for the first time in three years (I don’t own skinny jeans anymore) so I must have burned some major calories.

    Seriously, Myndi, I hope you heal soon. Back problems are a bitch!

  11. patriciasands says:

    Myndi, I’m sorry to hear your back problems linger. Bummer for sure! As for complaints about aging? I always say “Consider the alternative”!
    *sending healing thoughts and pouring you a glass of vino*

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