Sometimes Wednesday can be boring.
It’s mid-week. The post-weekend stress has worn off. The pre-weekend excitement has yet to begin. Wednesday is vanilla pudding. Wednesday is a donut without sprinkles. Wednesday is orange-flavored Hostess cupcakes – seems like it should be better than it is.
We need to spice Wednesday up. Here are my suggestions:
*Go find some random kid. Any kid will do. Grab said kid by the shoulders, give a good shake, whispering frantically, “I’m you, from the future,” then look over your shoulder and take off running.
*Raid the fridge at work. Take one bite out of everyone’s food. Leave post-its behind that say, “I tasted it. Not poisoned. You’re welcome.”
*When speaking, replace the word “how” with “meow” and see if anybody corrects you.
*Send a text to a random phone number that says, “I hid the body…what do I do now?”
*Wear Crocs to work. Tell everybody you’re wearing Crocs. Over and over again. If Jason asks how your day’s been? Tell him you’re wearing Crocs. If Jennifer asks if you’ll go to Panda Express with her for lunch? Tell her you’re wearing Crocs. Every answer to every question is, “I’m wearing Crocs.” You can punctuate the phrase by lifting your leg in the air and waving your Croc-clad foot about.
*Grab a pad of Post-Its and a Sharpie. Write ‘DUMBLE’ on Post-Its, and stick to every door you can find. (Oh, we’re so precious, aren’t we??)
Armed with these suggestions, and the right attitude, your Wednesday should be free of it’s ordinary boringness. Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments – I’ve already done all these and could use some new Wednesday material.
p.s. Looking for a way to spice up your Wednesday without annoying the crap out of the people around you? Consider reading Shrilugh. And then maybe annoy them a little by incessantly telling them about how awesome it is.