JOE BLOW OLYMPICS

The Olympics are a big deal in our house.  We watch as much as we possibly can.  I’d like to say that I’m drawn to it because it’s representative of the human spirit – the drive to do something great, to be a part of something that’s bigger than any any one person.

Really, though, I watch because I’m fascinated by the fact that these people can run without tripping over themselves like an overweight toddler, swim without having a life guard assume they’re drowning, and jump without nearly cutting off their pinky toe on the intake grate in the wall.

Yes.  That actually happened.  I have the scar to prove it.

The thing that torks me off about the Olympics is the announcers.  Their snide comments of “Oh, that was a HUUUUGE mistake.” and “His form there is really lacking.  How disappointing.” etc, etc, grate my nerves to no end.  Even if what they’re saying is true, the fact of the matter is these folks are doing things the rest of us can only dream of doing (or hurt ourselves trying.  I once threw my back out trying to do a sexy little back-flip onto my bed.  True story.  True, not-sexy story).

A couple nights ago, as I was mouthing back to some announcer as he was nitpicking a gymnast’s performance, the Hubster had a genius idea.

Every Olympic sport should have an ‘normal’ person performing the same sport alongside the athletes.  Not competing, just doing the sport alongside the greats, to put into perspective how awesome even the worst of these athletes are.

GENIUS. PURE, UNADULTERATED GENIUS.

Alberto Braglia won the only individual gold m...

Alberto Braglia won the only individual gold medal in gymnastics at the 1908 Olympics. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Can’t you picture it?  Beer-belly Bob sprinting along-side the runners for the 100 m?  A team of stay-at-home moms swimming the 4 x 100 meter relay?  Your company’s IT guy rocking out on the pommel horse?  The kid who bags your groceries belly-flopping off the high-dive?

Not only would this be endlessly entertaining, it would put into serious perspective how RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME these athletes are.

What do you think?  Do you dig watching the Olympics as much as I do?  Do you get tired of nit-picky announcers?  What sport would you most enjoy seeing your next-door neighbor attempting?

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17 thoughts on “JOE BLOW OLYMPICS

  1. Tameri Etherton says:

    Your hubs is onto something here. OR, we could have an regular type person in the booth with the announcers and every time they say something lame, Joe Beer Belly (who sounds a lot like a surfer) could be like, ‘Dude! Did you see that spin he just did on that horse thingy? That was awesome. You need to chillax, seriously. Those guys down there are doing amazing stuff.’ Or if the announcer says, ‘They make it look easy’ Brenda Stay At Home Mom would be like, ‘Easy? You think they make that look easy? She’s on a 1200 pound horse, just keeping in the saddle is a challenge. Go to my place and do my laundry, then I’ll tell you how easy you make it look!’.

    Okay, I’m getting crazy with this idea. Love the Olympics. I’ve DVR’d way too many hours of it, hence, my book is yet to be edited. Thank goodness it’s over on Sunday!

    What’s your favorite event? The kids’?

    • Myndi Shafer...one stray sock away from insanity. says:

      LURRRRRRVE your suggestions. The idea of a Joe Blow Olympic announcer is great. I volunteer for men’s gymnastics, although most of my comments will pertain to the amount of muscle bulging from their uniforms. That’s cool, right?

      I love Equestrian (I used to show) and swimming (because I suck at it and the dolphin kick thing is cool) and gymnastics (because the last time I was 4-foot-anything I think I was like seven years old).

      We don’t have a DVR, but we’re glued to the TV in the evening. I think we’ll all go through a short depression after Sunday. 🙂

  2. Kecia Adams says:

    LOL! Beer Belly Bob hopping over the hurdles. Love it. It makes me think that thy should show some of the lesser heats and prelims, not just the finals and the world records. And speaking of which, didn’t you just love the South African guy who ran on the prosthetic legs? I was cheering for him all the way. 🙂

  3. Melinda VanLone says:

    Love these ideas! How much fun would that be? What I hate the most is the interviews with the loser right after the event. Ugh. “how do you feel?” Um, isn’t that the stupidest question ever? Just dying for one of them to say “Like sh!t, thanks.”

  4. Tiffany A White says:

    I love the Olympics, especially the summer games. I get SOOOOO tired of the announcers. They are so very critical, probably more so than the judges. Of course, I’ve been really frustrated with NBC’s coverage this year too. They give TOO much away (like when they’ve already seen what happens and tell the viewer as the Olympian performs instead of letting us experience it for the first time) and cut out so many elements.

  5. David N. Walker says:

    Announcers are scared to death of silence. In a three and a half hour football game, they have maybe 30 minutes worth of intelligent comments to make, which leaves them with three hours to fill in with inane drivel. Guess that’s true of the Olympics, too. I don’t mind critique quite so much if it’s coming from someone who’s been there and done that, but I hate it from a professional announcer who never undertook the sport he’s reporting.

  6. CC MacKenzie says:

    Mwahaha!

    The commenters drive me nuts too! I had to listen to Claire Balding (BBC) say after the amazing Chinese swimmer knocked seconds off the best fastest time that, ‘There’s something wrong there. No normal swimmer could do that without help.’ And I thought, ‘What?’ How can she possibly say that without proof? I heard it in real time. The drug testing the athletes go through is unbelievable. Her big mouth started a firestorm and then she kept her head down while it raged over the poor athlete.

    The best commenters are the ones who’ve been there and done it and know what they’re talking about. Anyone who’s made the Olympics is an amazing person just to get there.

    It’s been brilliant for those of us here in the UK, our athletes have slogged their guts out and done well. And the crowds have been brilliant.

  7. jansenschmidt says:

    Oh – I love the idea! And we could take it one step further and have some Joe Blow off the street doing the score-keeping. So Norman Knock-Your-Socks-Off-In-That-Skin-Tight-Speedo would do his dive and then Joe Blow would give his score after the “real” judges give theirs. So we’d get the “professional” judge’s opinion and the average-run-of-the-mill nobody give theirs. That would change things up a bit.

    Fun post, Myndi! I love watching the olympics, even if I already know who won what medals. I still love to watch the athletes’ awesomeness.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

  8. lynettemburrows says:

    You are onto something! We love the Olympics here, too, but are constantly sassing the commentators. Would love to see the commentators running alongside the athletes. Even the ones who’ve been there, done that. Then, the athletes can ask them – how does it feel?!!!!

  9. Karen Rought says:

    I totally and completely agree. The announcers during the opening ceremony were driving me up the wall! First of all, you’re not supposed to explain art. That defeats the whole purpose. And secondly – and I know that this is NBC doing these announcements – why does everything have to revolve around the US? I always cheer for our home team, but the Olympics is a world event. Saying things like “Wow, even Albania got a smattering of applause” just defeats the purpose, defeats the very essence of what these games are supposed to be about.

    I actually had a similar thought this morning. I was watching the track & field results when they showed the woman from Saudi Arabia. She came in last place, but she didn’t even care. This is the first year a woman has been allowed to represent that country. She was so proud. Besides, she would still blow by me if we were in the same race. Even the worst athletes at the Olympics are champions in their own countries.

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