2012 is just around the corner, and along with it, several more lonnnnnng months of lame and laughable campaign commercials, candidates that oftentimes seem to have difficulty stringing coherent (or honest) thoughts together, and the general feeling of Is it all over yet?
One of the things that I love, love, love about our country, however, is that it is still a place of Opportunity. We don’t have to let ourselves drown in apathy just because the choices presented to us through major media oftentimes leave us feeling skeptical and disillusioned. We can look outside the magic picture box (aka, TV) that sits in most of our homes – look to the people around us who are intelligent, determined, and care enough to see this election for what it is – an Opportunity for a word that was much abused the last time around –
Which is why I’m totally stoked to be a stop on the Bayard/Lamb 2012 Campaign blog tour. This is a grass-roots campaign to the Nth degree, and they’re approaching the election with intelligence, humor, and best of all, honesty. You can learn more about their campaign here, here, here, and here. Piper’s (the Bayard in Bayard/Lamb) blog in general is about seventeen shades of awesome, as is her space-saving running mate’s, Kristen Lamb. Do yourself a favor, and check ’em out!
Today, they’re answering the question: What’s wrong with this picture? Take a look at the picture, try to guess what’s wrong with it, and then see what they have to say!
This is very telling. Congress is supposedly waging a war on obesity and they don’t even know what the four food groups are. Even if you get past the grain crust and the dairy cheese to the tomato sauce, tomatoes are not a vegetable. They are a fruit. How can people who do not recognize the members of the four food groups wage an effective campaign against flab? Next they will be telling us that Skittles are a fruit salad, and that whisky is a grain. Euphemisms may work for Congress, but they don’t work for us.
This is why the ladies of extreme couponing will be in charge of the budget.
In the dictionary under “redundant” it says, “See redundant.” There’s a sign that we’re paying for to tell us there’s waste? And to make matters worse, see that sign underneath it? America spends $20 million on putting up those signs telling us they’re spending our money, as if we didn’t know. Besides, people are too busy tweeting while they’re driving to read them anyway.
Under our administration, we will fold that information into our reality shows. That way, people will actually be aware of what’s happening, and they can tweet about it with each while they’re driving. Information will be dispensed, and we will generate money for the nation by charging advertisers on the reality shows.
This is why we will not rely on committees to do our work for us. Failure together, while more companionable, is still failure. Committees screw up accountability. We bet every mouse in this trap is blaming the mouse next to it. For problems to be solved, there must be accountability, and the blame game stops with our administration.
However, this picture inspired us in our Congressional Rewards Program. Congressmen will be required to wear shock collars. Whenever they propose pork barrel projects, they will receive electrical shocks, and whenever they do something beneficial for the American people, they will receive a piece of cheese and move one step closer to the pay raise they want to vote for themselves. The end goal is to train them out of bad habits.
Actually, we think they are doing entirely too much stuff, and it’s all the wrong stuff. They go after the busy work like deciding if tomato paste is a vegetable, while ignoring the real problems like entitlement programs, immigration, and the disappearing middle class. In our administration, Congressional pay will be tied to accomplishments. Congress will be rewarded for solving problems and saving money, not for spending, spending, spending in an attempt to bribe the voters with taxpayer money.
Pharmaceutical laws and regulations are currently far more for the benefit of pharmaceutical companies than they are for the American people. For example, millions in unopened, unexpired medications are tossed every year when people die because once they are dispensed, they cannot be given to anyone else. This is a huge windfall for pharmaceutical companies because the living still need those medications and are forced to order them new as they watch Granny’s good drugs head to the Happy Pill Box in the Sky with her.
We understand the dangers of re-dispensing medicine that has been opened and half used. However, medicine dispensed in institutions such as hospitals and nursing homes that remains unopened should be of use to someone besides pharmaceutical companies and hospital shareholders.
As part of our Granny Plan, we will allow people to donate Granny’s and Grandpa’s unopened medications when they die and get a charitable deduction tax write-off for the retail amount. The meds will then be organized into non-profit dispensaries that will only charge people enough to cover operating expenses. This way, the program is self-sustaining, nothing goes to waste, people have access to affordable medications, and reasonable safety measures are observed.
Let’s face it, folks. Our grandparents get the best drugs. There is no reason to let them go to waste.
Our sincere thanks to Myndi for hosting our Campaign Blog Tour stop today. We are honored to be here.
If you would like to host the Foxie with Moxie Pair, please contact Piper at firstname.lastname@example.org. And remember, Bayard/Lamb2012 – We’re Not Them.