CRAPPY HAIKU HUMPDAY: Goats and Treason

For petting zoo goats
A scratch and a snack is joy.
Winston smells treason.
IMG_5480

Winston is so jaded he wouldn’t let me take his picture today. Here he is (looking rather dapper) on a day where he feels less betrayed.

…and this concludes this weeks Crappy Haiku Humpday. Return next week for more crappy haiku.

red

True Story: Sometimes Being the ‘Yes’ Parent Rocks

Today while Took and I were grocery shopping we made a quick peek at the toy section. (Note: Our grocery store is one of those awesomely huge marvels of western modern man, complete with a jewelry store, a toy section, a doctor’s office, a post office, and OF COURSE A STARBUCKS BECAUSE CAFFEINE FIRST FOOD SECOND, YO.)

Anywaaaaaayyy…let me set the scene:

Me. Took. Toys.

She spots a Rapunzel doll and immediately begins gazing at me like this:

“All my future hopes and dreams rest on the purchasing of this doll, mom.”

This is no ordinary Rapunzel doll, either. This particular doll LIGHTS UP WHEN YOU DANCE WITH HER.

…you can dance, if you want to…

You need to understand, I’m the mom that always says no. I hate clutter, and new toys have a way of ending up on top of piles of old toys that I will eventually, in a fit of clutter-induced rage, throw away while the kids are at school or taking naps. When I see a new toy, I don’t see hours and hours of fun. I see hours and hours of inevitable crying when the kids return home from school (or wake up from naps) to find their toy inventory reduced by 75%.

“Do you mean…my beloved Beanie Baby Chuck the Kangaroo that I haven’t played with since before I got my third tooth is gone? Like, forever? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? I WILL NEVER LOVE AGAIN!”

But there is a caveat to my miserly stinginess. *in best royal court announcer voice* ALL HAIL THE ALMIGHTY RED CLEARANCE TAG!

Not this time, thankyoooooooo….ooooh, wait, is it on clearance???

Took immediately notices the change in my demeanor and puts on her very best Pretty Please I’m The Cutest Kid Ever And I Promise I’ll Be Good For The Rest Of Eternity And Never Ask For Another Thing As Long As I Live face.

Pretty please?

But we all know that inside that pretty little head of hers she looks something more like this:

I’ve got her where I want her…

At this point I’m torn. I can see the inevitable ugly end of this doll’s existence in our home, but at the same time RED CLEARANCE TAG + CUTE CONNIVING TOOK = ALL MY DEFENSES ARE DOWN.

“Okay,” I relent. “We can buy-,”

There’s is no time for me to finish my sentence because Took has taken off, clutching Light Up Rapunzel to her chest as she runs with blind joy toward the dairy section screaming at the top of her lungs,

“BEST…DAY…EVER!!!!!”

#mythreeyearoldcanquoterapunzel #ipodbabysitter #parentingstandardsgodownonthefourthkid

I’ve been walking on a cloud ever since.

True story: Sometimes being the ‘yes’ parent rocks.

plum

#BOOKIEMONSTERS: Book Nerd Roll Call! What Are You Reading?

bookiemonsters4Hello and howdy #bookiemonsters! Time for our weekly Army of Shafer book nerd roll call!

What are you reading this week? Do you love it? Hate it? Tell me all about it in the comments, and if you’re feeling especially ambitious, post links to the book so everybody can check it out!

I’m currently re-reading Outlander. The Hubster is very kindly watching the series with me, and since it’d been awhile since I read it I thought I’d pick it up and see how it compares with the show. So far I feel like the two compliment each other beautifully!

I’m also eager to get my hands on The Writer’s Coloring Book – I think it will help me with a new story I’m working on (working title: HYPOCRITES).

My TBR pile is ever growing (a problem I’m sure many of you can relate with), but I’m looking forward to finally picking up The Signature of All Things. A sweet reader-turned-friend sent me a copy about a lifetime ago and I still haven’t opened it (#bookfriendcrime). Will start it after I finish Outlander.

I’m also looking forward to reading some advance copies from some of my favorite Indie authors…will give you more details after the reading has happened. :)

RECKONING UPDATE:

Work on RECKONING is coming along well! I finally finished going through my editor’s notes, and am doing one final read-through before I send it back to her. We’re getting closer! One of my favorite scenes so far involves Hamilton and Rein reminiscing about their days in the Guard (which may or may not have included some cross-dressing shenanigans).

Thanks for popping in this week, #bookiemonsters! As always, all my love,

green