New!

*UPDATE* It seems I jumped the gun a little – the covers haven’t updated on Amazon, iBooks, or Barnes & Noble yet. Fingers crossed they will soon! 

HANNA, HANNA, ONE-and-TWO has had a facelift. Check it out below!

HH1+2 New Digi Cover

The new cover is not yet available on the paperback version yet – I will let you know when it is!

Loads of love,

plum

TRUE STORY: Everybody Poops

So, last night I dreamed that I was going to meet Beyonce. The Beyonce. And I was super nervous because

(1) I’m always nervous when I meet new people

(2) It’s Beyonce

and (3) I don’t really know any of her songs and so what the flip was I going to talk to her about? Maybe how the conspiracy theorists had serious nerdgasms after her Super Bowl performance? Yeah, that’d make us fast and immediate friends, to be sure. *enter Illumanti symbol here*

Anyway, I was sitting in a limo trying to calm myself as I was waiting for my turn to walk out on the red carpet (of course there was red carpet, because BEYONCE), and I was repeating to myself,

“Beyonce poops, just like you. Beyonce poops, just like you. Beyonce poops, just like you.”

(Which IRL is actually my mantra when meeting new people, and now you officially know way too much about me.)

Someone opens the limo door and I step out and there she is in all her glory. I can’t remember what she was wearing but there were flashes of light everywhere and she was smiling and striking poses and I shuffled up to her and she was crazy gracious and knew my name and I said,

“You know, you and I have something in common.”

And she said, “Is that so?”

I nodded eagerly. “I pooped today, too!”

The conversation sort of died after that.

True Story: Everybody poops, but that fact isn’t a great lead in conversation.

pink

Dear Internet Peoples,

I really want you to read my books. If, for whatever reason (seriously, any reason at all, even if that reason is you just hate paying for stuff) you find yourself tempted to download any of my books from a piracy site,

STOP. Don’t.

Instead, get ahold of me (see the ‘connect’ tab at the top of this page? Click there) and let me know. I’d be happy to give you a digital copy of one of my books on the house and here’s why it’s infinitely cooler to get ’em that way instead of pirating them:

*You can tell your friends the author gave you this book ‘cuz we’re hella tight (more integrity in this white lie than stealing my books).

*You don’t have to worry about malware or someone scamming your credit card #.

*You can walk around with that Hey, I Didn’t Steal Something From An Artist Today glow.

*Reading is awesome; reading a book that was given as a gift is double awesome.

This is a No Strings Attached offer – I’m not asking for reviews (although I do love a good review more than chocolate, and that’s saying something) or for you to tell everybody you know about my books (but if you feel compelled I’m certainly not going to stop you). I just want for you to have a way to get your hands on my stuff without having to support a crappy underground industry to do it. And who knows? Maybe you’ll buy the next one.

I hope you’ll take me up on this, Internet Peoples.

As always, loads of love,

teal