TRUE STORY: Everybody Poops

So, last night I dreamed that I was going to meet Beyonce. The Beyonce. And I was super nervous because

(1) I’m always nervous when I meet new people

(2) It’s Beyonce

and (3) I don’t really know any of her songs and so what the flip was I going to talk to her about? Maybe how the conspiracy theorists had serious nerdgasms after her Super Bowl performance? Yeah, that’d make us fast and immediate friends, to be sure. *enter Illumanti symbol here*

Anyway, I was sitting in a limo trying to calm myself as I was waiting for my turn to walk out on the red carpet (of course there was red carpet, because BEYONCE), and I was repeating to myself,

“Beyonce poops, just like you. Beyonce poops, just like you. Beyonce poops, just like you.”

(Which IRL is actually my mantra when meeting new people, and now you officially know way too much about me.)

Someone opens the limo door and I step out and there she is in all her glory. I can’t remember what she was wearing but there were flashes of light everywhere and she was smiling and striking poses and I shuffled up to her and she was crazy gracious and knew my name and I said,

“You know, you and I have something in common.”

And she said, “Is that so?”

I nodded eagerly. “I pooped today, too!”

The conversation sort of died after that.

True Story: Everybody poops, but that fact isn’t a great lead in conversation.


TRUE STORY: It Was Only a Dream

I spent forty-five minutes this morning tearing the house apart, looking for the new purse and lap-top bag I’d scored for a heckofa discount. They’re kind-of matchey-matchey which usually isn’t my style, but I loved them and bought them anyway.

And now I can’t find them anywhere.

They are both blue with a sort of distressed finish, and the purse slings perfectly onto my shoulder. The lap-top bag has just the right amount of little pockets for all my stuff – one for my phone, one for my glasses, another for my sunglasses, and one for my pens and gum. And both have the cutest fabric lining the interior – a floral pattern that was exactly like the cupcake wrappers I used for Alice’s birthday party.

Wait a minute. Exactly like the cupcake wrappers I used for Alice’s birthday party?

Exactly like them?

Awww, crap. Crapcrapcrapcrapcraponacracker. It was a dream. I dreamed them SO HARD that I actually thought they were real.

Now I haz the sadz. Must medicate with more coffee.

TRUE STORY: If it’s too good to be true, it probably was a dream.


Life Happens

We’ve all been there, right? Trucking along, thinking we have it all under control, and then wham! 

We realize we don’t. And at that moment we can either let the hard, unsignalled left turns of life throw us into a tailspin, or we can pull up our big girl panties and just get on with it.

I choose to just get on with it.

You guys, I’m so sorry, but RECKONING won’t be ready to publish until summertime. It’s nobody’s fault – life just happened and the editing process is taking a little longer than I’d expected. I hope you’ll hang on with me for a few more months to find out what happens next in Aydan and Rein and Brig’s lives – and so much happens. I think it will be worth the wait, but I’m a little biased…

I’ll try to make the wait easier in the meantime. I’m planning some giveaways, and I’ll post some excerpts (the non-spoilery sort), along with a surprise or two while we count the days.

giveaway graphic

The first giveaway is happening NOW over on my Facebook page (click here). Super easy to enter – all the deets will be on the post with the picture you see on the left. My giveaways are always a surprise – I never spoil what’s in the package – but I think you’ll like it!

Loads of love,