Happy Hausfrau: Sweetened Condensed Milk

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It was a holiday emergency.

The Happy Hausfrau, preparing to make her hubby’s favorite Christmastime treat, realized she had forgotten one item at the store.  The store that, though open, was teeming with last minute shoppers jacked up on caffeine and misplaced holiday spirit.  She did not want to brave that storm.

“Sweetened condensed milk…sweetened condensed milk,” she muttered to herself while staring vainly in her pantry, wishing very much that she was Mrs. Weasley, who was sure to have a spell that could create sweetened condensed milk out of thin air.  She stomped her foot a little, thinking that being a Muggle definitely had some serious disadvantages.

The clock was ticking.  A mob of family members with zombie-like hunger for sweets and booze would soon be ringing the doorbell and storming the kitchen, leaving nothing in their wake but crumbs, dirty dishes, empty bottles, and creepy Uncle Joe passed out under the kitchen table.  The Happy Hausfrau knew she needed to find a substitute.  Fast.

After taking a brief, but oh-so-necessary moment to adjust her holiday apron and re-apply her devastatingly red lipstick, the Happy Hausfrau perched in front of her computer, fingers flying over the keyboard.  A small, sly smile crossed her face as she read.  She may not be Mrs. Weasley, but she had one thing Mrs. Weasley didn’t:

Google.

Okay, maybe two things:

Google and scotch.

She typed and clicked, sipped and searched until she found exactly what she needed:

How to Astonish Friends and Make Your Enemies Envious with this Simply Easy Sweetened Condensed Milk Recipe.

Rejoice!  Christmas Eve, and the Happy Hausfrau’s husband’s favorite treat (the unfortunately named ‘Fudge Puddles’) were saved!

The Unfortunately-Named 'Fudge Puddles'

Recipe: Homemade Sweetened Condensed Milk

2 Eggs

1 C. Brown Sugar

1 tsp. Vanilla

2 Tbsp. Flour

1/2 tsp. Baking Powder

1/4 tsp. Salt

Mix all ingredients well; use as a substitute for sweetened condensed milk in recipes for pies, bars, and desserts.

Click here for the fabulous Fudge Puddles recipe.

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15 thoughts on “Happy Hausfrau: Sweetened Condensed Milk

  1. I’m a longtime fan of sweetened condensed milk! Everythig tastes better with it. And if you put the can in boiling water for about an hour, you get a can of delicious dulce de leche (boil fewer minutes for a spread-like consistency, more for a gelatin-texture you can cut with a knife and eat with a fork).

  2. But, Myndi! Food is the first of the five Principal Exceptions to Gamp’s Law of Elemental Transfiguration…you can’t conjure it out of thin air! Good thing you had Google. ;)

    P.S. Great post! Loved the way you wrote it.

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